IT'S ONE THING TO KNOW IT BUT ANOTHER TO ADMIT
WE'RE THE WORST BAND IN THE WORLD
BUT WE DON'T GIVE A
IF GARBO PLAYED GUITAR WITH VALENTINO ON THE DRUMS
THEN WE'D BE NOTHING MORE THAN A BUNCH OF DARMA BUMS
SO TUNE UP, TUNE UP
WELL WE'VE NEVER DONE A DAYS WORK IN OUR LIFE
AND OUR RECORDS SELL IN ZILLIONS
IT IRRIGATES MY HEART WITH GREED
TO KNOW THAT YOU ADORE ME
UP YOURS, UP MINE
BUT UP EVERYBODY'S THAT TAKES TIME
BUT WE'RE WORKING ON IT
WORKING ON IT (OOH)
WE NEVER SEEN THE VAN - LEAVE IT TO THE ROADIES
NEVER MET THE ROADIES - LEAVE THEM IN THE VAN
ALL BECAUSE OF CIRCUMSTANCES WAY BEYOND CONTROL
WE BECAME THE DARLINGS OF THIS THING CALLED ROCK AND ROLL, OOH
HERE I AM A RECORD ON A JUKEBOX
A LITTLE PIECE OF PLASTIC WITH A HOLE, OOH
PLAY ME
BUY ME AND YOU PLAY ME THEN MY PLASTIC TURNS TO GOLD
HERE WE ARE TOGETHER ON YOUR HI-FI
A LITTLE PIECE OF PLASTIC WITH A HOLE, OH
FADE ME, FADE ME, FADE ME, FADE ME

WHAT WE'RE GONNA DO IS GO BACK, WAY BACK INTO TIME.
DOWN THIS WILD STREET WALKS, WALKS A CHILD WITH NO TRACE
OF EVER BEING AS YOUNG AS HER SISTER IS.
A LOCAL NEIGHBOURHOOD CRUSH, THE BOYS WOULD HIDE OUT AND WATCH
HER HANGING WASHING ON THE LINE, ALL THE TIME.
MORE LIKE A WOMAN, SHE TALKS LIKE ONE.
SHE WAS THE FIRST GIRL, SHE WAS THE FIRST GIRL, TO TURN THE BOYS ON.
BOYS, BOYS, WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER, SO YOUNG.
MAKING LOVE WAS ONLY DREAMING, THIS GIRL, SHE'S GOT ANOTHER STORY.
WHEN THEY ARE GONE SHE BLOWS THEM KISSES ON THE WIND.
AT THE CORNER SHOP, HALFWAY DOWN THE BLOCK,
ALL THE RADIOS PUMPING TO THE WAY SHE WALKS,
PAST THE FLYBOYS ART, WHERE HER NAME'S ENGRAVED.
SWEET LIBERTY IS WHAT IT SAYS.
MORE LIKE A WOMAN, SHE DRESS LIKE ONE.
SHE WAS THE FIRST GIRL, SHE WAS THE FIRST GIRL, TO TURN THE BOYS ON.
BOYS, BOYS, WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER, SO YOUNG.
MAKING LOVE WAS ONLY DREAMING, THIS GIRL, SHE'S GOT ANOTHER STORY.
WHEN THEY ARE GONE SHE BLOWS THEM KISSES ON THE WIND.
THE PRICE OF PUBERTY'S GOT A WAY OF SHOWING, IT DOESN'T COME IN EASY STAGES.
HER MOTHER'S FACE IN THE POT, SHE WON'T EVER LEAVE IT.
SHE NEEDS A BELL TO RING THE CHANGES.
MORE LIKE A WOMAN SHE WALKS LIKE ONE.
SHE WAS THE FIRST GIRL, SHE WAS THE FIRST GIRL, TO TURN THE BOYS ON.
BOYS, BOYS, WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER, SO YOUNG.
MAKING LOVE WAS ONLY DREAMING, THIS GIRL, SHE'S GOT ANOTHER STORY.
WHEN THEY ARE GONE SHE BLOWS THEM KISSES ON THE WIND.
BOYS, BOYS, WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER, SO YOUNG.
MAKING LOVE WAS ONLY DREAMING, THIS GIRL, SHE'S GOT ANOTHER STORY.
WHEN THEY ARE GONE SHE BLOWS THEM KISSES ON THE WIND.
BOYS, BOYS, WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER, SO YOUNG.
MAKING LOVE WAS ONLY DREAMING, THIS GIRL, SHE'S GOT ANOTHER STORY.
WHEN THEY ARE GONE SHE BLOWS THEM KISSES ON THE WIND.
BOYS, BOYS, WRAPPED AROUND HER FINGER, SO YOUNG.
MAKING LOVE WAS ONLY DREAMING, THIS GIRL, SHE'S GOT ANOTHER STORY.
WHEN THEY ARE GONE SHE BLOWS THEM KISSES ON THE WIND.

WELL I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' AFTER NUMBER ONE
FOR TOO LONG
AND IT SEEMED THAT LOVE WAS PASSING ME BY
SO I THOUGHT I BETTER DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
AND THAT'S WHY I'M SITTIN' HERE
LOOKIN' CROSS THE TABLE AT YOU
THAT'S WHY I'M SITTIN' HERE
LOOKIN' CROSS THE TABLE AT YOU
WELL A LONELY MAN NEEDS A MARRIAGE BUREAU
WHERE THEY SIT YOU RIGHT DOWN
AND YOU FILL IN A FORM
WOULD YOU LIKE A BLONDE OR A BLACK OR A BLUE RINSE
DO YOU LIKE 'EM SMALL, LOVE 'EM SLIM LONG AND TALL
DO YOU LIKE 'EM SMALL, LOVE 'EM SLIM LONG AND TALL
OH NO, TOO MANY QUESTIONS
I'M LOOKING FOR A GIRL LIKE MOMMA USED TO BE
SHE'S COOKING UP A DREAM, SHE'S BAKING ECSTASY
WON'T IT BE FINE WHEN
I FIND HER
WOULD I LIKE TO TAKE HER TO A MOVIE OR THE THEATRE
WOULD I PICK HER UP AT HOME
OR WOULD I LIKE TO MEET HER
SOMEWHERE WE COULD TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT EACH OTHER
SMILE AND SAY HELLO OR WALK AWAY
SMILE AND SAY HELLO OR WALK AWAY
SO I'M SQUEAKY CLEAN IN AND OUT OF THE BATH
I NEVER SHAVED SO CLOSE BEFORE
I'M GONNA PUT ON A TIE
I'M GONNA SHINE UP MY SHOES
I'M GONNA SLICK BACK MY HAIR
I'VE GOT NOTHIN' TO LOSE
OH, I'LL BE STINKIN' SO GOOD
LIKE I'M DROWNING IN A SEA OF COLOGNE
DO YOU KNOW YOU REMIND ME OF SOMEONE
(OOH) BUT I'M HERE MAKING EYES AT YOU
AND I THINK WE'RE GONNA SAY GOODBYE TO THE BUREAU
CLOSE THE FILES, TURN THE PAGE, START ANEW
CLOSE THE FILES, TURN THE PAGE, START ANEW